Roots. I Have Them?

My youngest daughter's short visit has got me thinking about so many things. She went 'back to life, back to reality'. Her life, her home, her husband, her town. 95 miles northwest from where I live and she wants me to move there, yesterday. She is happy, loves her little family passionately, and for that I am happy.

Sixty miles to my north, three cities converge and while driving the interstate highway that connects them, one cannot tell where one ends and the next begins. Until recently northwest Arkansas was one of the fastest growing areas in the country. My oldest daughter lives in one of these three towns. That is where her life is. She is probably happier than she has been in a very long time. That makes me happy, too.

I have this home, a former life with my husband where we grew up, grew children, raised cane, gardens, and flowers. This is my town, but I really never thought too much about it, until today. This one, like many cities is currently floundering in the present economy. Many jobs lost to foreign sounding places. We have a large college, two large hospitals, river, truck and train commerce. Ours is the number one manufacturing city in our state but many of our blue collar jobs have dwindled. Still, it is a good size, offers many shopping, dining and outdoor activities. we have a state fair, rodeo, blues festival, river festival, many libraries and a convention center.

Present day, my mother, who just turned 80, and possesses her faculties, if not her good health, lives with me. This, she reminds me, is her home too, and so it is for as long as she needs it. A promise I made to her during all the years she pounded the halls of a long term care facility providing loving nursing care, (in short supply today), to 'her residents'.

This home, far from being utopia, provides the closest thing to a "break" my mother has ever received. She has endured far more heartache and heartbreak that anyone should during a lifetime. Her life from my perspective has illustrated what it mean to suit up and show up and put one foot in front of the other. Like so many of our parents and grandparent, her journey contains enough material for a book, or at least a mini-series. But I am not worthy to write her story since my part is just that.

So, in the future, I expect that my life will change and change some more. I believe that my roots will be pulled up and replanted in a new place at another home. What do I really want. I want to be where I can love the most. Not be loved the most, but one naturally follows the other. In my new home Elliot, Oliver and Alaska will romp and play, snuggle with me, eat my food, and I will return the favor. I will see their mommy and daddy much more often. They will get sick of me but I will make them promise to see about me, and make sure that I am cared for. Their assurance that I am kept clean, fed, warm, cool, and yes loved, when I will need it most. And my plan is to express my love for them in words and deeds, before they have to live up to their promises.